In this post let’s think a bit about the personal life of the preacher. People can usually sense if you are not being genuine. So here are some suggestions to consider:
1. Be genuine. Maybe we are starting with an obvious one, but it is impossible to be genuine without actually being genuine. You can try to fake it, but why do that? The Gospel screams out that God’s grace is for you and so why choose to live inauthentically? And yet every preacher knows there is a temptation to hide yourself when preaching. You can do this by trying to be impressive. You can do this by trying to make your humility or vulnerability impressive. But if this is not genuine then it will show somewhere. People will sense it when they talk to you and find you are only vulnerable on your own terms. Or they will sense it when they find you to be less approachable, humble, personable, etc., in person than you seem to be when preaching. The best solution is not to try harder to pretend, but to instead be genuine. I will offer more suggestions, but this one surely should stir us to pray and lay ourselves out before our good God who sees everything and loves us still!
2. Confess your sin. I could offer a list of possible sins that are choking some life out of you, such as unkindness to your spouse, harshness with your children, self-absorption, bitterness toward an individual, self-indulgence, private addiction to drink, to a food, to alcohol, or to porn (you may have your own “sanctified” version of porn too – a TV show, facebook surfing, or whatever). I could give a list, but actually, when you read the words “confess your sin” you may have had something immediately come to mind. Start there. Talk to God about it. If it is clinging on, talk to someone else about it too. When God’s grace cleanses another corner of our inner life our listeners will benefit, even if they are not sure what has changed.
3. Develop honest relationships. Christian ministry presses us into isolation. Do not let that happen. You need people that are concerned for you heart. You need close friends who will tell you when you are out of line. You need other ministry people who will understand when you just need to vent. You cannot go it alone!
4. Fan the flames of your love for God and His Word. Listeners sense when something is wrong, but they also will be drawn to someone who loves God. Fan the flames of your love for God and your delight in His Word. You will be infectious if you have a strong case of the disease! The blessed preacher delights in the law of the LORD and on his law he meditates day and night. Soak your heart in God’s Word so that God’s heart oozes out of your life.
5. Be growing. It is so easy to stagnate. We can stagnate right after Bible school, or in our middle years, or as we grow older. Be growing. Read books. Read books in different areas. Take a class. Ask someone to teach you a new skill. Stretch yourself. The day you stop learning is the day you stop effectively teaching.
In part 2 we will think about the pastoral ministry of the preacher as we ponder how to promote preacher-listener connection.
4 thoughts on “Building Preacher-Listener Connection – Part 1”
#3…It seems to me there are fewer pastors who would dare take even reasonable correction from a “layman” (a word that really should not exist), much less his fellow elders. Have you ever found this to be so?
I have certainly known some in leadership who wouldn’t take correction from anyone, but thankfully I have known a significant number of good and godly church leaders who are gracious and genuinely humble. The qualification lists are all about mature Christian character and a lot of churches would save themselves a lot of trouble if they wouldn’t treat the lists so superficially.
Peter, what do you mean by “your own “sanctified” version of porn too – a TV show, facebook surfing, or whatever”?
I suspect there are a lot of Christians who won’t risk watching porn, or don’t have an appetite for porn, but their conscience is not so sensitive when it comes to lustful lingering under the stimulation of facebook, twitter, instagram, a favourite TV show or a slightly provocative movie.