11. Preacher Passion – it doesn’t matter what this preacher says, the listeners just love the passion. The preacher could present the telephone directory, just as long as it is done in his passionate style. Why? Perhaps the listeners live in a blah world of the daily mundane so much that this provides welcome relief.
12. Preacher Now – this preacher can say whatever he wants biblically, just as long as he is sure to mention the latest movie that was released yesterday. These listeners get a sense of tribal identity from listening to a cutting edge preacher-ista who has his finger on the required sub-cultural pulse.
13. Preacher Nationalist – this preacher would fit on a soapbox in the town square and treats the church as a safe alternative. Ears are scratched as the preacher rages against the oppressive enemies and foams in zeal for their particular political ideology. It doesn’t take much to tie this to the Bible and therefore call it preaching.
14. Preacher Self-Esteem – this preacher has a life mission to make you feel better about yourself. Never mind that the Fall in Genesis 3 curved people inwards and made our sinful default a me-centred universe, this preacher reinforces your me-centredness with liberal amounts of biblical misquotes to stroke your ego and build your self-esteem. The crowds will flock to hear this.
15. Preacher Nice – this preacher thrills people by a gracious demeanour, good looks, attractive accent or some combination of these. The perfect hair and rich Scottish accent makes the ladies swoon. Doesn’t matter what he says, they love to listen. Or maybe he is a surrogate spiritual leader (unlike the weaker man they married). Or maybe he is the cool friend people want to have on Facebook and count as their’s. This preacher is the local touch of Hollywood glitz and itchy ears love to have him around.
As before, take stock, and take any nagging similarities very seriously. These alternatives to genuine biblical preachers can do inestimable damage to the church. Have I missed any? Which do you think are more prolific in our generation?